Dead Space?
by Kronos Titan of time
Summary: Space the final frontier and Deadpool the final authority on everything one needs to Hitchhike across the Galaxy. No.1 Don't piss off Thanos reality gem is a bitch! No.2 Mess with morally ambiguous Squid shaped death machines bent on wiping life off the galaxy "Wait a damn minute I've played that game! And what's with the title this is ME universe someone report this to the Admin!"
1. Run Potato Run!

**Dead Space?**

This is a work of Fan fiction. All of the original characters, organizations, techniques, summon animals and events portrayed in this fictional literature are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictionally. Though the majority of the events and most characters take place in and are a part of Marvel universe, and of Bioware's Mass Effect.

Normal speech: I hate paperwork. I bet Thanos is giving me more on purpose.

Flashback Begins: _*******_

Flashback Ends:

Scroll/Book/Author notes/Event/ Titles: Priority: Omega

Demon/Summon or Fusion speech **: Finally, I, Deadpool am free. In your face Illusive Man!**

Human Thinking: _'_ _Oh, Shit.'_

Demon/Summon or Fusion Thinking: _**'**_ _ **Oh, Shit is right! You are royally screwed bitch!'**_

Jutsu/Techniques/Spells: _Hadoken_

Song start-} _{_

Song ends-} _{_

 **Chapter 1: Run Potato Run!**

* * *

' _Here I am and there you are…shh trying to focus on playing Evil Defenders here. God damn Oasis level.'_ A one, Wade Wilson dressed in his red-black costume, his Adamantium Katanas sheathed on his back. His Pistols holstered and himself hunched over in a darkened corner of the alien ship he was hiding in. Pale light flowed over him as he held his IPad and played his game his focus completely on the screen before him.

He began to hum a tune when he felt a tremor ripple through the ship.

It was getting closer fast, so he got up and cartwheeled a few meters and stashed his IPad away. He rubbed his masked chin and wondered "I'll plant an IED right... here... *dig dig*"

He used his Katanas to cut an opening onto the floor and upturned his magic satchel of unlimited weaponry… _'Yes it's really named that and no I will not call it MSUW…Acronyms are just as bad as cows…evil shits…'_

His satchel dropping a bunch of claymore mines into said hole which he proceeded to cover with a mere cloth. He grinned and ran around the corner just as his pursuer charged through his foot sinking into the hole "WILSON!"

Deadpool whistled "My names Deadpool beatch!"

*BOOM* the explosion threw his pursuer into the air and while he was unfazed or unharmed he gave Deadpool the time he needed to…play Angry Birds… _'Why did you stop your narrating so suddenly? You are sitting on your bed, your laptop on your belly at five thirty in the morning and you deadpan at me for getting a three star in Angry Birds? You got one job! Spell out my actions, motivations and thoughts to those who read this…whoever would even read it so get on with it.'_

Suddenly an alien soldier who looked strikingly identical to an earth cow armed with a glowing axe which reminded Deadpool of Carbonadium. "Now you are just being mean…"

He shuddered at the thought of fighting this dead eyed alien but he rolled his shoulders and readied his blades "Pistols are too impersonal for you my pretty little freak of nature! Time for some prime beef cuts!"

And he was off charging at the bovine alien and just as he got close enough to slash at it the wall behind the creature dropped on its head splattering it. Deadpool merely stood frozen as the wall nearly flattened him as well and the fact that his pursuer stood towering over him.

The purple skinned alien, _'Who I will forever name barney the purple dinosaur.'_ With a corrugated chin and dressed in purple and gold, his bejeweled golden glove glowing with power as he growled at Wade Wilson, "Wilson, I am going to eradicate you. I am going to do the universe an immense favor and rid you from it completely, do you want to know how? I'm going to use the reality gem and erase your very existence so farewell and…"

"Remember to always travel with Thanos Air? Remember to tip Korath on the way out? Bring back Gamora home before 11'Oclock? Marry Nebula? Marry Nebula and Gamora? Teach Ronan the Accuser how to come out of the closet with his sexuality?"

The great Thanos stared at the red/black garbed insane merc and sighed, simply stating "Die."

He pointed the Infinity Gauntlet at Deadpool and a beam of white energy lanced out, Wade barely dodged it and began to run as fast as his legs would allow him to…which was pretty fast and he did while loudly proclaiming "Run Potato Run! Heh chapter reference…"

"Whoa, Missed, Missed again, Missed once more" As he kept dodging the blasts from Thanos, Deadpool slipped into saying missed in various languages which only served to anger Thanos even further.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Thanos waved his hands together causing the ship interior to follow his movements and the two opposing sections of the walls closed in as a wall rose in Deadpool's path stopping him.

And Thanos fired a beam of white energy powered by the reality gem with the intent of getting rid of Deadpool, in that scant few seconds Deadpool, Wade Wilson did the only thing he could…he straightened up and somehow got a white cloth over his eyes acting as if he were before a firing squad and then flipped the switch for his teleportation device in his belt buckle.

The moment he did so coincided with the beam of energy connecting with him and in that mere instant, Thanos had done what numerous beings who had the misfortune of knowing Deadpool all dreamed of…

He had gotten rid of the merc with a mouth though not in the bloody messy way everyone intended which included a pine box and chain and a dip into lava.

The Merc was still alive but not here…

'Here' being the big point.

.

.

Somewhere in space, on an asteroid station called Omega. Omega has been a haven for criminals, terrorists, and malcontents for thousands of years.

And now in a flash of light in a darkened alley it plays host to the cream of the crop malcontent.

Deadpool his voice weak from the exertion squeaked out "Who…you…calling…a…malcontent…I'm…full…of…content…"

But he would have to catch his breath soon as he attracted the attention of a couple of mercenaries who decided to take advantage of whoever was foolish enough to dump himself in the alley after getting drunk.

Deadpool used the wall to support himself and pulled out his pistol, leveling it at the four aliens before him… _'Wait one's human, carry on.'_

"Well, look at this boys. Some guy in a clown suit." The lead gunman shot a look at Deadpool's pistol "And he has a toy gun with him too. What you do build that yourself or steal it from some museum?"

In response Deadpool shot him in his head or would've if the bullet didn't just deflect off a shimmering blue energy that enveloped the man, he didn't pause in his laughter. The dim light showing them garbed in some sort of blue colored armor, Deadpool cringed as they leveled their guns at him so he played his card.

"One chance, I'll give you guys one chance."

They just laughed harder, one of them a four eyed alien said "He must've had too much Hallex!"

The lead man said "All you have are a couple of swords and knives and some museum relics, we have the real guns…"

Deadpool interrupted him grinning "No! What you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I'm no longer standing because if I am you all will be dead before you've reloaded."

"Ok let's call your bluff, buddy." The mouthy leader of the four high-tech muggers leveled his gun right at Deadpool, his comrades doing the same and before he pulled the trigger he asked "Any last words, clown."

"Make my day, cocksucker."

And with that they began unloading their guns on him, the high-speed bullets ripping right through the unarmored and unshielded red and black clad insane merc and after the first few rounds the muggers looked surprised as the damage was being done yet the man was still on his feet, some paused in their firing only to continue unloading their entire clip.

And at the sound of ejecting thermal clips and hunched over Deadpool smiled and in one instant began to move forward unsheathing his Katanas "My turn, little bitches!"

In one move he swung his blades right through one of the cutting through their shields and armor, the Adamantium blades interestingly disrupting the shield energy enough that to it the shield are nonexistent, _'Really? Sweet…'_

He bifurcated one, his blade pierced right through the chest of another as he was reaching for a spare clip ending him instantly. He beheaded the leader of the group of four and the four eyed alien had just finished reloading his gun only for Deadpool to be on him instantly and cut of his hand, the alien in a cry of pain clutched his bleeding stump and stumbled backwards "Ahh! What the hell are you?!"

Deadpool kneeled down to the bleeding alien's eye level and smiled benevolently "I'm Deadpool."

And stabbed him through the chest… _'What?! I was moving the plot along. Don't give me that look, what was I gonna do let the guy live so that he spreads my name? Ha he'd probably come back with revenge with a capital R on his mind. I ain't no hero remember? So you gonna move it along or what?'_

Deadpool began stripping the would be muggers of anything useful especially their weapons, armor and various other tech that he didn't recognize for now and he decided to fiddle with a blinking datapad presumably of the group's leader and once he was able to open it he read the messages nothing much important but a lot of numbers which he thought are probably containers for supplies, weapons and cash. _'Sweet, thank you for setting me up man. I'll tone down on harping on your case for a bit, K?'_

But one message interested him the most, it was a hit that was gonna go down tonight on someone named Aria in a bar called Afterlife… _'Mmm snazzy name, can't ever forget it.'_

And Deadpool seemed to get a sudden urging to go and save this damsel in distress, _'I ain't no hero, buddy. Chicka got a crosshair on her head ain't my prob.'_ Then Deadpool suddenly thought he was in an alien world with no clue where the hell he was so maybe helping someone would be a good way to get some info in the process and who knows it was a chick he might get something else as well…

Deadpool straightened up, his hands gripping the pistols he took off the dead gunmen and with a focused look he stated out loud "Where is this fair maiden! Her knight in shining black and red spandex is coming to her rescue and then pillage her depths with his massive blade…"

Deadpool was suddenly given a strong feeling that he should tone it down a bit or maybe even a lot, _'You are no fun… ok fine set me up with a lady friend but you better get my wife here too…oh spoiler alert huh, oh relax…don't give me that frowny face…'_

.

.

Aria T'Loak sighed as she watched the pole dancers from her grand throne in a rare moment of relaxation even having a drink. Though from another's perspective she may look like she is relaxed and vulnerable but she get as old as she is and powerful as she is by being weak. The Asari ex-commando eyed the crowd trying to figure out from where this assassin was coming at her.

She knew full well that a group of Blue Sun mercenaries got in their heads that taking her out would be an easy ticket to the top. Pity was she found out that Blue Suns command had nothing to do with it, if they had even a slightest link with these so called assassin's she would've gutted them and Eclipse and Blood Pack just to make an example.

It would've been a great example and a very simple one, one any waif on Omega knew by heart "You don't fuck with Aria."

She smiled her eyes spotting something red and black, she readied her gun "I am Omega."

She saw a glint of light and saw a sniper perched on the ceiling aiming at her through the vents and just like that she picked out 7 no 8 walking corpses that were after her…what gave her pause was the red and black spandex wearing clown who came in armed to the teeth, _'Clearly the rats have built a hole.'_

She thought his clothing implied he was Blood Pack but they would never take a human not for money or weapons so her thoughts lingered on the chances of a nut-job getting the same idea as the Blue Suns and walking in at the same time.

She saw the guy try a drink and Grizz hissed, she turned to her Turian bodyguard and he stated clearly "The nut is drinking a Turian brandy."

She raised an eyebrow at the foolish mistake considering the Dextro-amino acid based DNA that Turians possess as opposed to the Levo-amino acid DNA of humans at best drinking or eating the food of the opposed would give them no reaction or nutrition but at worst it would cause a lethal allergic reaction or even poison the system. Well the poisoning was only in Humans who tried so far, Turian were tough bastards.

But the clown had shown no reaction whatsoever in fact from his movements she could tell he had already sized up the other 7 of the assassins and then he locked eyes with her, she smirked internally as she saw him tremble but unmoving from his place _'Good, he's intimidated…'_

Well that's one enemy she wouldn't need to worry about, she'd kill him later. She smirked but that cold smirk was wiped off her face and the entirety of Afterlife went silent at what happened next…

"YOUR GALLANT KNIGHT IS HERE TO SAVE YOU MY PURPLE PRINCESS!"

Every being in Omega froze in place looking open eyed and gaping at the audacity at the spandex wearing clown, those who were stone-cold drunk grew sober in seconds as they went white as sheets in horror even the gunmen out to shoot Aria gaped before noticing Aria rise as a vision of fury but they also noticed that her bodyguards were busy gaping like everyone else so on their comms they initiated their plan at that very instant.

Aria's men took a moment to respond to the numerous gunmen levelling their guns at Aria, while she prepared a barrier to surround herself from any harm but noticed the red and black clown pull out two Carnifex pistols and with speed and accuracy Aria would be hard pressed to admit that even veteran Asari commando's never have and that's including herself. The _clown_ shot every single gunman down with each bullet striking them in the head.

Now there was another reason for everyone present to be shocked as 7 dead bodies dropped, the patrons being shocked enough hightailed it out of there and the dancers got down behind the bar. He turned to Aria and holstered his pistols and asked her "Now that I've saved you princess, let's make passionate love on the bar."

Perplexed, Aria did the only thing she would, she shot him multiple times in the chest.

What shocked everyone present is that he kept standing there with bloody holes in his torso and clutched his chest over his heart and in a dramatic voice stated "Ah, shot through the heart figuratively and literally…ah such wonderfully agonizing pain is…is this what they call love?!"

Aria herself grew even more perplexed she knew her anatomy, she shot him in vital points even if the guy had cybernetic implants or organs, multiple vital organs were hit so he should've gone down but he was healing like a goddamn Krogan…she could see that his body was actually healing faster than a Krogan at that and she was used to being the center of everyone's lust one of the perks of being Master of Omega she could show it off but everyone knew that she was untouchable but this nut was openly romancing her…

Her eyebrow twitched, even Krogan have a glaring weakness over their regeneration. A shot to the head killed near damn anything and she did so.

And down he went. His body twitched a few times, Aria simply holstered her gun as did her bodyguards thinking it was over.

But suddenly the body sat up and she first hand saw the hole in his head begin to stitch itself up and after a bit he complained "Ow…right at the speech center. Not very nice princess…" He gave himself a once over and said "Could you also stop shooting at me, my uniforms got enough holes in it as is anymore and you may as well strip me…is that what you're doing? Stripping me then by all means continue."

And for the first time in a very long time Aria T'Loak freaked out as if she was just hitting her maiden stage and reacted like a teenager and with a loud screech and glowing with biotics lashed out at Super Regenerator hard enough that he created an imprint of the man in the wall.

"Ow…" His face hit the floor seemingly knocked out. Gathering her composure not that any of her bodyguards would blame her for losing it they pretty much lost it as well nor would they mention it to her unless they wanted to be thrown out of an airlock.

Aria strode over to the still alive _clown_ , she created an Omni Blade to cut off his head…then she paused _'Should I kill him, he may dress like a clown his skills are unmatched not to mention his regeneration that makes a Krogan look slow. He is undoubtedly human…but despite their experiments into enhancing their physiology there are no mentions of an experiment creating something like him. His skill could easily make the man military…a shadow op? No humans are too damn arrogant to keep a breakthrough like him secret for long, even that upstart extremists Cerberus had no chatter regarding him. So he's not even on their radar which pretty much makes him nonexistent, with a man like him I doubt the Illusive Man would focus solely on Shepard.'_

She undid the blade and turned to her Bodyguards "Grizz! Anton! Get him to the Doctor down in the Apartments neighborhood. Tell Mordin Solus that it isn't a request and that this man is to be treated with utmost care and secrecy and I want him as a picture of health." She paused "Grizz stay with him and inform me once he wakes up."

Aria walked back to her quarters with a smile _'If his romancing is real, then I can manipulate him. His skills and ability is an asset I can't ignore and nor will Cerberus once they catch wind of it.'_

* * *

Hey,

Bunch of ideas jumping around my head for a while and one of them is this hope you like it.

Happy Diwali!


	2. For my Lady

**Dead Space?**

This is a work of Fan fiction. All of the original characters, organizations, techniques, summon animals and events portrayed in this fictional literature are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictionally. Though the majority of the events and most characters take place in and are a part of Marvel universe, and of Bioware's Mass Effect.

Normal speech: I hate paperwork. I bet Thanos is giving me more on purpose.

Flashback Begins: _*******_

Flashback Ends:

Scroll/Book/Author notes/Event/ Titles: Priority: Omega

Demon/Summon or Fusion speech **: Finally, I, Deadpool am free. In your face Illusive Man!**

Human Thinking: _'_ _Oh, Shit.'_

Demon/Summon or Fusion Thinking: _**'**_ _ **Oh, Shit is right! You are royally screwed bitch!'**_

Jutsu/Techniques/Spells: _Hadoken_

Song start-} _{_

Song ends-} _{_

 **Chapter 2: For my Lady**

* * *

"Ohhh…did someone get the purple chicka' number she owes me a date for that." Wade groaned as he pushed himself off the bed.

"Hmm lingering dangerous thoughts, result of possible concussion? No, concussion would've receded. Brain damage despite regenerative capabilities? Possible but require more tests to verify also possibility that subject is insane to seek a romantic interlude with Aria T'Loak. But on another note is good to see you respond splendidly to the altered retro-virus, though initially purposed for bolstering Krogan physiology through their immense regeneration it was but a simple matter to alter it to your unique physiology. That itself is strange while genuinely human there are strange mutates and foreign genetic material introduced to you possibly some irrational unethical experiment of some sort but you have an unquantifiable capability of regeneration and I use that term loosely, now the Krogan retro-virus I applied to you should have streamlined that foreign genes that were introduced to you which your body was actually rejecting but because of the mutate in the gene it either caused your cancerous symptoms or sped existing ones to monstrous proportions. You will be pleased to know that 90% of the cancerous material in your body has been eliminated only your blood now has the quality of sickle shape cancer but otherwise you are in prime physical condition, would make clear to you that donating blood is not a viable option to you might make things messy. Really surprising to see a human as hardy as you, makes me wonder if all humans have such a potential but also realize the danger inherent in such so accept Aria's want for secrecy."

Wade Wilson AKA Deadpool the merc with the mouth for the first time in his career as an entertainer felt that he has come across a match to his title of 'merc with a mouth' as he stared at the amphibian like alien, who was busy clicking over some orange light around his arm as he gestured to Wade and spoke a mile a second.

He paused in what seemed like an eternity to Wade and asked "Did you get all that?"

Wade scratched his chin "Great. I think I got…but just in case tell me the whole thing again. I wasn't listening."

Grizz Aria's toughened Bodyguard and former soldier in the Turian Fleet gave out a long suffering groan as the Salarian Mordin Solus didn't even blink as he repeated every word he just said somehow in even greater detail.

' _I remember now…I quit because I was getting stationed at too many Salarian worlds.'_ Grizz had conveniently tuned out the ramblings, an acquired skill he would say, till he nearly drew his weapon and fired at a near girly screech emanating from the human.

"I LOOK LIKE RYAN REYNOLDS!"

Dr. Solus took his reaction in stride as he simply cocked his head and asked "Sorry I'm unaware of human actors but is this…Ryan Reynolds an entertainer of sorts and by your tone of voice and that wide smile I say it is a high probability that you are happy with this outcome."

"You kidding Doc?! This is great I look great not that I didn't look great before but now chicks will be lining up to have a go at this." Wade pointed at himself which revealed his unblemished skin, no cancerous pores all over his skin making him look like an offspring of an avocado with an older avocado. "Oi been watching the trailer?"

"Sorry? Watching what trailer and why would baby avian be lining up for you?" Dr. Solus then grasped his chin for a moment "Ah, you mean females. Yes, I suppose your new appearance would make you a highly attractive mate." Dr. Solus turned to Grizz "I have done as Aria _requested_ but I'd like to run more tests on him discreetly of course so please pass on the message to her."

"Will do." Grizz then addressed Wade "Name's Grizz, get dressed Aria wants to see you."

"Oh my, she's so forward."

"You are one crazy bastard. I would pay to see Aria take your head off." Grizz paused as a last days memories surfaced "Say would beheading you even kill you?"

"Nope."

.

.

Aria found herself facing the clown from the day before, the one who came in to save and consequently romance her. _'Well he is handsome enough for a human…'_

"Don't stare so hard you're making me blush."

"You say that but you haven't stopped staring at my breasts." Aria smiled coldly as she leaned a bit forward, Aria knew what she had and how to use it one of the advantages of a long lifespan, nothing but time itself to hone ones skills in numerous crafts. Seduction is an art every Commando learns as basics, never know when one may be forced to go undercover.

Being an Asari Aria knew better than to avoid a weapon in her arsenal not that she ever needed it, fear works just as well on Omega. Using such minor techniques on this man would be worthwhile, she can't leave Omega but she knows her adversaries are moving about outside its borders and she never had any _agent_ she could trust to do work she may require. She knew the Collectors were up to something horrific and she doubted they would stop with human colonies, the Illusive Man is nothing but a child who has no clue what he's playing with and the gangs are mere background noise for now.

She wished she could shoot Vosque but it wouldn't do to kill the head of the Blue Suns syndicate even if he was a pig at least the clown standing before her as blatant as his affections are is more chivalrous who knows she might even give him a bite of the forbidden fruit if he proves worth it.

She barely acknowledged that last thought when she witnessed him doing something absolutely strange "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to select the paragon dialogue choice to make you get attracted to me but I don't have enough paragon points." Wade kept trying to poke empty air and look visibly frustrated.

Aria simply raised a brow at his words but ignored his antics "So what would you say about working for me?"

"That you're on top…"

The corner of Aria's mouth twitched and for a moment she lost her centuries honed control of her emotions and biotics but it was for barely a sec before she schooled her features "Funny. With a mouth like that I'm surprised you made it as far as Omega with nothing but some guns and swords, Grizz outfit him and I know what you took from those fools you killed in the alley I don't know where you stashed everything you took but use that as well."

Wade gave her a salute and joined Grizz on the way out fishing out the data pad from his satchel "Boss lady wants, Sexy Boss lady gets."

Grizz remarked blandly "You know I'm going to enjoy your insanity especially when Aria drops you through an airlock."

As they left Aria's second-in-command and trusted bodyguard couldn't help but question "Ma'am is it ok to let that human have so much leeway?"

Aria scoffed in response "That new gang Talons has gotten a bit bold as of late. I was looking to hire some mercenary to cull their numbers, one just dropped in my lap…and despite my misgivings about him I can't deny for a human he far more skilled that any Asari Commando." She pulled up a video recording of an alleyway on her Omni-tool, the image was grainy and unclear but she paused just as Deadpool's swords cut right through the victims shield and biotic barrier, "Liselle could use him on her team for now."

Anto Korragan shivered as he remembered how the hole in the human's head knitted itself and he kept walking about afterwards perhaps that drunk human patron the same night had the right idea when he called the clown a devil and ran out.

.

.

Grizz clicked in frustration as his _partner in crime_ as the man put it was humming and skipping like a little girl through the warehouse area, he was led to a certain storage unit the symbol of the Blue Suns emblazoned on its side was all anyone needed to know that if steal from the Suns then your life is forfeit. But this guy…

"Oi Grizz! Take a picture would you, I want those cockups to know who's stealing from them." Grizz simply sighed and used the Omni-tool to take a picture of the posing Deadpool and sent it through numerous channels to make sure it reached the Blue Suns but unable to trace it back to him.

"Hey what is that orange light around your arm anyway?" Deadpool remarked as he began rummaging through the storage picking up many more weapons and armor.

Grizz couldn't tell if the human was being serious but shrugged "It's called an Omni-tool, you probably need one and I'll probably have to teach you how to use it too…"

"Nah just give me a good one and the guy writing the fic will fill me in." Deadpool paused as a thought came to him "Can it be used as a weapon?"

"Sure. Mostly melee type weaponry but I hear the Talon gang somehow managed to get a mod for a ranged, an Omni-bow. I know a guy on Omega who could give you something like that, heck he's the only one who could give the Talons something like that." Grizz tapped on his Omni-tool, "He's nearby, if you want we can commission him to give you a couple anyw…"

Grizz stopped to see Deadpool stuff a M-76 Revenant Assault Rifle into a satchel a quarter of the size but what surprised Grizz to gape openly was the fact that it actually fit and then Deadpool proceeded to stuff more weapons into it M-15 Vindicator Battle Rifle, a couple of Carnifex Heavy Pistols, M-27 Scimitar Shotgun, M-300 Claymore Heavy shotgun and a ML-77 Missile Launcher and just as Deadpool began to push the launcher into the satchel he noticed Grizz staring at him.

"Don't worry! I'm an expert at putting phallic objects into tight spaces."

Grizz simply stared at him push the weapon inside and he picked it up like it weighed nothing, he threw his hands in the air in defeat "You know what, I don't wanna know and I don't care. I'll get the credits and then we can see about getting you Omni-tools before you drive me insane."

Which didn't take very long as the Batarian tech specialist could easily retrofit a custom pair of Omni-Tools for Wade to use from all the Omni-tool modules he got off the dead mercenaries and their stash. He even got the Batarian to give his armor a few upgrades, not much but every little bit helped, now Deadpool only needed a paint job for the armor, red and black were his calling cards after all.

' _Grizz is now my new favorite bud just above old Bladie, bird knows were to get the best hookups. Man I look badass!'_ Deadpool stood in front of a mirror dressed in full armor, his Adamantium Katanas set on his back along with a Revenant Assault rifle, two Carnifex Pistols on his hip along with his satchel. Of course all of this over his repaired costume, he put on his mask and whistled "Man I look good."

"I quite agree with that." Wade turned around to see a purple skinned Asari, like Aria but dressed in grey armor and she seemed like an 18 year old version of Aria but with white markings on her face similar to Aria's black markings.

Grizz sighed "Liselle, you weren't supposed to leave your position."

"Mother can crib all she wants, I was the one who uncovered the Talons plans so I get to take them out." Grizz sighed the girl was as scary as Aria at the best of times "Where is Aryna anyway?"

A loud knock at the door showed another Asari woman with a long scar over the right side of her face, unlike Aria or Liselle she had blue skin, green eyes and decked in a grey armor that looked heavier than the norm.

"The girl ditched me again, Grizz I need you to fix me a drink."

Deadpool hummed to himself and leaned against a corner "Why do I feel like a third wheel here?"

Grizz promptly answered "Because you're a freak of nature?"

"I was going with insanity, demonic possession, immortality, medium awareness and Bovinophobia…but sure let's go with that." Deadpool's words got the three to stare at him strangely as he hummed a tune and began to check his weapons.

Aryna Rani, Asari Commando and best friend of Aria questioned "Demonic Possession?"

"Well to be honest part of soul is in possession of my demonic wife…I mean that literally but meh, any demon or spirit possessing me get out eventually crazier than they were going in." His nonchalant shrug as he explained something like that got them wondering if he was dead serious about it or not.

Liselle was far more interested in the mundane point he made "You're afraid of cows?"

"Ever stared into the dead eyed monsters, they watch you and they _know_ don't ask me how I know but they _know_ and they want to be eaten! Do you understand, they want to be eaten! Scariest revelation of my life…" Deadpool waved his hands around like a crazed preacher before switching to a more thoughtful expression in an instant "Though there was a time that came a good second to that fear of mine and that's when I was cursed by that nut case of a god Loki to have the face of Tom Cruise, I call it TomCruiseophobia I kept getting that damnable mission impossible music playing in my head and that's not the worst part, the worst part is my life was getting ruined by the face…"

Both the Asari gave a questioning look to Grizz who sighed again "I got to work up the courage to ask Aria for a raise."

Wade Wilson growled "Sigh again I dare you, annoying chicken."

* * *

So slow chapter, just wanted this out of the way...

Got Deadpool all decked out, i always got his back till he badmouths me and i decide to drop a Reaper on his head,

according to the timeline he's a year and half before Shepard is revived fully so next chap will see some more fairly normal action but hey its deadpool he'll think of something...

Merry Christmas guys!


End file.
